Saturday, August 21, 2010


Imagine having to go here everyday, cept you're not Harry Potter and you basically have a grand total of zero friends that live with near you.


I started a new project recently called

(jamboy |ˈjamˌboi|nounAn unfortunate colored youth who smears oneself with jam to keep flies away from rich white folk on golf courses in hot eastern countries.)
I attempted to have my first jamboy 'show' today. It went somewhat terribly (expected). However, the upside is that I can work today's scenario into a screenplay for a new Michael Cera movie (By the way, have you seen Scott Pilgrim yet? Its incredible).
Jamboy's Day OutA Story
The young Jamboy is very excited to show off his brand new 'noise-dance' project on one hot summer day (covered in jam). Alas - when he arrives to the venue, he's greeted with bow and arrow wielding teenage military recruits. Luckily, the Jamboy drives a Jeep. However, the even bigger problem is that all the members of the crowd, honestly, have an average age of about 11 years. The Jamboy disregards that fact and the overall mind capacity of everybody surrounding him; he leaves his gear in a pile of dirt and tries to fall asleep in the midst of that one girl attempting to sing that one song that she doesn't remember the name of for maybe 20 dollars. But wait! That dick Magic Mark! He won't shut up about that fucking Ugly Dog contest! God, if only the Jamboy had enough jam to shove down the parrot's throat, sitting on that dirty pirate's shoulder. However, if he had, he would have none to bring home to ma and pa. The day passes and soon enough, our hero finds himself on the stage. The stage is fucking dirty! Comments about socks and certain amounts of decibels are made and show begins. Five minutes later, a mysterious figure arrives on stage behind the Jamboy. Of course, its that dick Magic Mark and his fucking boa constrictor! He explains, "We're cutting you; the watermelons are getting warm," of course for the sake of the ever so legendary watermelon eating contest. The Jamboy says, "Ok." What he really meant to say was, "We all have minds as wide as toothpicks here and have no appreciation for any art form that isn't AC/DC, kay?" The Jamboy spared Magic Mark and his sweaty watermelons and went home.

On a serious note, I recorded some music (with video too - OOH) and will post it soon. Just the file is 600mb and is 22 minutes long with out any breaks... Soooooo... Yeah.


  1. how could you let those watermelons get warm?

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  3. If you get mad at Magic Mark, just consider these two things:

    1) He is an adult man who goes by the name of "Magic Mark."

    2) He does magic shows FOR A LIVING. He probably competes with Cappy the Clown for business.

    In sum, this man's life is a nightmare.